i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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