There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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