nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
