mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
