my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
