Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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