great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
