i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
