She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
