You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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