someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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