This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
