absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Plan B is the new Plan A
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
