Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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