why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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