she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
