Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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