Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
