South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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