flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
