Just cropdusted the office
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
