Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
