I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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