i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just found puke in my bra..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
