Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
