you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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