Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
