i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
