I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
