Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
