he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
