He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
