lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
