Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
