I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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