Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
