His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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