Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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