Sry I called you an 8
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
