so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How external is "for external use only"?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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