How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
