She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
