she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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