69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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