What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We're too hungover to prance.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
