Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
