hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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