I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
