I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
