"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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