Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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